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17:34 - Feb. 12, 2008
deidre scherer
somewhere in the course of working, full-time, for hospice for the past three years i've lost the awareness of the sacredness of what i do. agreeing to participate in this art exhibit of deidre scherer (check out the website - it's fantastic; she's fantastic) i've managed to start looking, and therefore reclaiming some of the awareness of what it is i do everyday. it's like seeing the robins in my front yard after the rain - 20 or 30 of them, all eating up the bugs and worms which come to the surface, and the warmth i feel every time i look out my front window and see the garden i've just planted there. that's sacred, those moments. i wonder how much more i'm going to appreciate what i have done in hospice when i leave it; i wonder how much i'll miss it. i can always volunteer... there must be a hospice where i'm going, or maybe it's better to do it where he lives. what i do is a privilege... like the woman said on the video, almos like being invited to become an angel, and who wouldn't want that? just not full time. not this full time anymore. i have worked on healing for a long time, and it's now no longer fulfilling but exhausting. i'm ready to leave, and come back part-time. many hospice workers do it part-time, because it is so demanding in so many ways. fulfilling, yes, but everything in balance.
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