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18:21 - Nov. 27, 2007
dear santa
i'm trying to figure out what it is i have the opportunity to learn while my life is the way it is right now. i feel tired, like an inside-tired, like i don't want to do my job anymore, but most of all i feel alone and it's getting harder and harder to see that there's an end in sight for all of this. so i'm learning just how much i want a family - children and my beloved near me every day. and maybe when, years down the road, i'm in the midst of a noisy family and am so busy i have little time for myself this time is so i can look back and remember how unhappy i was without those things, to help me be more grateful. and some part of me just wants to rest; just wants the world to go away, responsiblities to fall away, and to feel free enough to be happy again... that's what i really want for christmas - freedom...
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