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20:44 - Jan. 18, 2007
this moment i'd like to preserve
i'm falling in love.

with a person; with a man i've met at church who, when i first saw him, was filled with light. i am filled with dreams, and hope; and once i let go of the self-inflicted fear i realized i'm not the only one of us two in this condition. or, at least, sharing the orientation to be so.

and, somehow, this one is different. in college i was looking for experiments and experience and in many ways was still a girl. but i'm no longer a girl, and i'm no longer looking for those things. suddenly i can see my life five, ten years ahead of me and i have children and a husband and a home; and when my heart contemplates him, these dreams come into living color.

i believe but for the promise of (relative) anonymity i would never put these words out on the internet, to be read by anyone and her brother. it's just that i like the idea of coming back and seeing "where" i was on a certain day, at a certain time and place. and this moment, this one just right now, i'd like to preserve.

 

 

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