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18:26 - Sept. 28, 2005
if i could unlock all the love in your heart...
i just remember his eyes, that night; they were green. i just remember what we, two, knew that night and what we shared because i can't write about it, i can only try to remember how nice it was. really i'm just longing to hear a familiar voice... my life is a blur. i've just been offered my dream job and it's 1000 miles away and i feel like i've just lost one of my bestest friends today and i know what's coming ahead is a good thing, but dear god is it scary and i feel so alone and i'd just like to hear a familiar voice right about now. they say love conquors fear... "if i could unlock all the love in your heart..."i told him that night i wanted to know that kind of love; he knew what i meant. i turned on my side on the top of that hill overlooking the hotel parking lot and the green hills facing us and the highway leading to the airport; i turned and we were just two souls on top of the world that night. just two friends sitting together and it's just right about now, with fear and lonliness knocking at my door, that i'm looking for that comfort again. (i dreamt i was pregnant: see? this is the baby. and i dreamt it was okay because he was there to help take care of it all, but i worried it would be too much for him, because we had just met and all. but see? this is my baby... this is the baby i dreamt about, the baby i held standing on the shores of the ocean. and it's going to be alright. i promise. it's going to be alright and you aren't ever alone.)
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